Reinvention

The punishing lengths vanity will send a middle-aged man to

Reinvention is usually the result of a spur. I was talking to my pal Miss J the other day, and said that vanity has its good side–and perhaps I needed more of it. “How so?” said she. I recounted the tale of a someone with frozen shoulder syndrome (a diabetes related disability), whose awareness of his teen splendor drove him to exercise ferociously, learn yoga, stretch till he practically ripped in half–and not only kept it at bay, but got rid of it. Or of another pal whose horror of a beer belly–and a love for beer–keeps him running and going to the gym on the regular, punishing his 54-year-old self. I just didn’t have that. From a fashionable grad in my early 20s, middle age and the results of thyroid medication (after a successful cancer operation) have/had turned me into a schlub. Clothes are for comfort, not a form of creative expression. I haven’t been to the doctor to deal with my heel issues, instead limping about in undashing (and perhaps not the best) shoes. My waistline, once 20 inches–well, let’s stop right there. Makeup when I think of it. Some of this, of course, is due to good things, like not being overconcerned with other others’ opinions, or having the confidence to be self-accepting, to stick my tongue out at all the external pressure to conform to a slimmer body type, even in the name of health.

Pisarro or Picasso? Gladwell sees different genius paths in both

But. While I don’t think I need strive to fit into the clothes I wore as a 20 year old (women over 42 should be cautious about being too thin–scraggy necks result, as do deepening naso-labial folds; I have neither), self-care definitely gives one a lift, I do feel expressing creativity should extend to one’s appearance, and–well, reinvention of appearance often coincides with other reinvigoration. I’m writing like a wild woman, actually improving my housekeeping (at least in my own eyes), participating in more things. It may be a second wind, but I prefer to think it’s related to Malcolm Gladwell‘s What the Dog Saw essay concerning genius at a young age and genius at a later stage–here’s the great original version from the New Yorker. In any case, with modest but interconnected goals, I am making a public pledge here.

By the end of the year (craftily omitting whether I speak of an academic or calendar year), I shall: reduce my waistline to at least 30, eat without so many snacks (my base meals are normally very healthy–it’s what I add), fully buy into the Project 330 wardrobe paring and planning, and redevelop a personal style. Such modest goals! And I shall do all of this thriftily.

How so, you ask? Forget exercise and diet programs you pay for. While I have not been too much of a repeat offender, I have gone to Weight Watchers and to Curves. Did they help? Yes, I have to say they did; Curves in particular got me moving without complaint and showed steady results with little time inv. But since I don’t drive, getting to them is a problem, and I tend to waste my membership that way–and it mounts up. The Y? Same problem. There are now two yoga classes nearby and I would like to be more limber, but NO MONEY is going to change. This will be a DIY operation, yet I believe it can still be successful if I commit to it. I have some of the tools already–and so do you.

Spark People: great free site to help you track calories in, calories out--plus more

I’m lucky–I neither have diabetes, high blood pressure nor high cholesterol. But if I did, I would find this awesome resource even more spectacular. Available as a free iPad app or as a free website, my highest praise goes to SparkPeople. It is a fabulous resource that looks at both calories and exercise, and can hook you up with encouraging online buddies who share your interests as well as your wish for a trimmer version of yourself. It’s so well-organized, it tempts you into participation (I particularly like the iPad version). Weight loss is a calorie game; there are no magic secrets. SparkPeople asks you for a goal and then sets a daily calorie limit and graphs your day as you inch closer. It also has a plethora of exercise activities with video instructions. Now, exercise is a dirty word to me–but I love to dance, and I’m going to exploit that and track it on Spark People. I’ve already got a little momentum going–at 55, I’m going to have my first mammogram (yes, I can hear the collective indrawn breath from my hermetically sealed abode) later this month (hey, my 92 year old mom’s never had one! I feel positively virtuous!).

As earlier reported, a closet purge is ongoing, and the wardrobe issues will soon be plotted. I’ll be reporting back on progress and observations, and pleased that I didn’t give into a common American impulse–to see a problem and throw money at it. Join me! The impetus for all this was the summer thought “I used to have an exciting life” (I really did). Well, what’s stopping me now? Nothing, nothing, nothing. My savings on bodily improvement are going towards a special adventure fund. Because once the basics are taken care of, it’s life enrichment (your own and others’) that make money useful. Be a fellow Bon Vivant!

Eating out–like a Bon Vivant

Know your fast food energy per dollar

A lot of things were hopscotching through my mind today. I had posted a tweet to an article about how the slow food movement (that’s two slow food movement links for the price of one) stacked up against fast food, dollarwise, and that brought to mind a recent conversation with a friend who had read about how, calorie-wise, a typical fast food meal provided more energy per dollar than many slow foods. I wanted to address this subject, but it became tricky for me–especially after hearing @cbnickras’s warning that slow food discussions often mark one with a jerkish, self-righteous martyr stamp, or even crankishness. My angle? To combine bon vivant tastes–and in food, that means good-tasting food, preferably with entertaining conversation and attractive surroundings–with cost consciousness.

In principle, fast food has no place in this equation. It’s reason for being is counter to the bon vivant credo! Or is it? I am not someone who is a daily or weekly or often even monthly eater of fast food; part of that is that it’s car-oriented and mall-oriented, and I don’t drive. Do I disdain it? Not entirely. I like the Burger King Whopper (but only with onion and ketchup). I love the  Chik-fil-a chicken sandwich–that pickle makes all the difference! And I would like to try Church’s spicy tender strips. Just none on the regular. Much as my ideal is a relaxed meal, sometimes life doesn’t allow it, and better fast food than no food. In short, I have no beef (or chicken) with the existence of fast food, I just don’t have it on the regular. Nutrition? No one forces you to eat your hamburger with fries (I never do–of course, I can’t stand fries). No reason you can’t have an apple in your pocket and eat it with your hamburger! If you aren’t eating ONLY fast food, an occasional quickburger isn’t going to send you to dietary perdition, or break your purse either.

Watermelon and lemon sorbet, chocolate seeds! mmmmmm

I lean toward the pragmatic, rather than the doctrinaire. But on the regular, eating out–healthy or not, slow cooked (let me not pretend to understand all the global ramifications of this movement) or fast–is not good for your pocket. Period. It may or may not be good for your waistline–that depends on choices. That doesn’t mean any bon vivant will absent herself from ever eating out! There’s no denying that eating out habits have changed radically in the past 35 years. When I was a child, parents might go out for their anniversary, but getting hamburgers out (not from a chain, either) was a special thing. Eating out was really for road trips (I have fond memories of Howard Johnson’s hot dogs on the PA Turnpike; their special bun and flavor was duplicated by Friendly’s, now heading for Chapter 11. So sad. I cannot do without a Wattamelon sorbet delicacy in the summer. Chocolate seeds!). Today children are crammed into restaurants at every price level. Why? Working moms, that’s why. Working non-moms like to eat out, too. You can’t expect two people who have had rough workplace days to come home with a joy of cooking in their bosoms. But when I look at friends and relatives who are feeling the pinch of the New Depression, feeding themselves out of the house leaves the biggest bruise (drinks and vending machines are big pinchers, as well as restaurants). In the Old Depression, those who stayed rich might dine out, but restaurants (diners and small joints) were for shift workers or the wifeless. It’s alarming to think how much our economy depends on the food service industry. How common is it elsewhere?

Europe has plenty of restaurants, slow and fast. Street vendors dish out in India, China, Brazil, West Africa. Italy used to have (does it still?) a three-tier system: the tavola calda, a kind of cafeteria; the bar or hosteria, where snacks and coffee prevail; humble but tasty neighborhood trattoria, where you might meet friends for an inexpensive meal and a chat; and the ristorante, a full-service spot for an occasion. Prices here in Cleveland–as well as atmospheres–aren’t so clearly defined. Food trucks are making a big splash. In my home town of Philadelphia, we have every ethnic variety of truck, from Jamaican to Korean to Mexican, but the typical truck has cheesesteaks and pizzasteaks, all made right on the spot on the grill, potentially served with a can of soda and some chips. Not pricy, but our signature sandwich. Cleveland’s going in for upscale, restaurant-run trucks. Not a bad idea–result of a local ordinance change last summer, allows innovative entrepreneurs a chance to establish their abilities; those with restaurants and trucks might lure new customers in by a trial this way. While overhead might be low, what are the prices like–for no service except a hand-over and a paper napkin, and no place to sit? Dare I suggest the prices will be higher than the Polish Boy bought from the hot dog man on Public Square, not just because of the relative cost of ingredients, but because of self-valuation?

Clean, modern lines of Elements on Euclid Ave., CSU campus

Where’s all this going? We eat out too much. It drains our pockets. We should keep eating out “for special”–special circumstances where speed is of the essence, special occasions where a convivial, mood-establishing atmosphere makes it worth our while, as does the food. I haven’t reached my brother’s level, where a rant about the “$10 hamburger” is right around the corner–in fact, I was delighted to host three other colleagues at CSU’s attractive Elements restaurant and come away with only a $45 lunch bill (three had delicious sirloinburgers with side dishes, and drank tap water). I miss it when I don’t eat out at least three times a month–but that’s different from three or four times a week.

This leads me to a slow self-challenge: to find Cleveland restaurants that deliver taste and atmosphere without overly damaging the budget. More than just a neighborhood joint or a chain place, but somewhere where you can have a bon vivant experience for under $10. So you can step out now and again.

Dressing with dash

I was an odd college student, clotheswise. When everyone else was in jeans, I wore designer dresses. No clunky shoes for me, I was in heels. How did I manage? I was an expert seamstress, and my designers came via Vogue patterns, so I had money for attractive shoes (which my feet now complain about. Nag, nag, nag). I’ve fallen out of the habit of sewing, and am no longer as dashing as I once was–admittedly, the impetus was greater when I was a size 6, not more like a 16. But that’s no excuse! Rubens’ ladies looked elegant, after all. So, what to do for a thrifty makeover?

Pare down your demands, reduce consumption. Raise creativity and dash!

My first order (handed over by my visiting sister): purge! My closet (a lovely walk-in) was a disgrace. A furnace repairman had  been up to the crawl space and crawled back down with tufts of insulation that had gotten all over everything. Many kinds of things were on the floor. Though a walk-in, the two sides were so close together you couldn’t walk through it without disruption. The plan? Get rid of anything ill-fitting or ill worn, move everything to one side of the closet, and put the shoes on the other. Done, and done!  Goodwill got a big haul–five garbage bags of clothes and shoes. But the paring-down isn’t done yet. I have ambitions to now craft my wardrobe; to have the best mix for the biggest bang, to never buy carelessly, but with purpose, and to get back to making clothes as well. A web idea caught my eye: Project 333, whose goal is to, over the course of three months, whittle the wardrobe to 33 perfect mix-and-match elegant choices. Make other people happy with that dress that was never worn because it didn’t hang right, or those shoes that pinched! Then get down to business. I’m going to start today, and while I may not stick to it to the letter, I’ll use it as a catalyst. What that means is that I will have the fun of retapping my creativity, clothing-wise, but prevent impulse buying or hog-wild tendencies. I will figure out what I don’t have that would be useful, then look for just that–with a perfect fit, made with good quality materials and workmanship.

Stein Mart--basic but pleasant enough layout, great clerks

And here we get to my objections to most stores: they are selling shoddy merchandise with big price tags. And, yes, I’m talking to YOU, regular middle-class stores like Macy’s. No wildly-printed polyester jersey knit dress has any business with an “original price” of $79. Pppfahhh! (a noise of derision, if it needed spelling out). But discount doesn’t necessarily mean bargain either, if the quality is still poor. I was happy my friend Miss J introduced me last week to Stein Mart in Westlake, on 25001 Center Ridge Road. There are two others in the Cleveland area, one at 23949 Chagrin Blvd in Beachwood, another at 33321 Aurora Road in Solon. Wow! Although I didn’t buy any clothes, I plucked one for Miss J’s perusal–she’s professionalizing her wardrobe, which had emphasized a hippie/bohemian vibe, so she wanted some dash that had funk. There was an Evan-Picone cape/jacket in a houndstooth check, loaded with dash; started its lifespan at over $100, went down to $70-something, and had gone on sale for $48. It’s not only a signature piece that works with black, red or tan, it’s quality. The seams aren’t finished with machine overcasting, they are FINISHED WITH BINDING–something you rarely see. But Evan Picone is a good and an old label, and their clothes generally ooze quality. What I liked about Stein Mart was that they included clothes that were zippy, with intriguing details–not just the same old thing you find everywhere. They also had a gamut of sizes. Men’s clothes are present, though I didn’t explore, nor did I look closely at bags, shoes, jewelry or housewares. I took Miss J’s advice, and signed up for a preferred customer card, and have already started getting coupons that reduce things further (not all clothing is eligible, but those items that aren’t are clearly marked).

I’m going to write more about sewing soon. In the 70’s, we all learned it in junior high and fabric stores were everywhere. Now most people don’t know how to sew, and JoAnn’s has cornered the market (with crafts edging out the cloth). But don’t just wave it aside if you don’t know how! I’ll hip you on to Cleveland opportunities to learn and open a whole world of haute couture at a bon prix. Tune back in!

Hair–down to there hair?

In her youth, the Thrifty Bon Vivant used to be a try-out hair model at a major Center City salon in Philadelphia. Yes, I was the one they’d try out a cut on for the big NY shows, since my hair grew quickly and I was averse to nothing–and was getting tip-top stylists’ work for free. Finer things, and lower prices–perhaps my mantra began there! But now the poor Bon Vivant is older and greyer–in fact, I’m not quite sure how grey/white I am, since I have no desire to find out (though I admit to some odd fantasies of stripping the color and adding strands of brown, or having a brown-dipped foot at the bottom).

Is this shoe polish in a deeper can?

Caring for your hair is not cheap–and I’m not even talking about shampoo, conditioner, or grooming products. I’m talking cuts, dyes, stylin’. While I used to have short, sharp cuts, I now look like the aging smoldering librarian, my waist-length tresses clipped in a feeble bun-like updo, when I really want to look like Joanie on Mad Men. When I’m in my home town, I go to my trusted hairdresser and get a dye job with or without highlights–that generally costs anywhere from $80-$145 with tip included. But my hair starts betraying a skunk stripe in about two weeks, I don’t go home often enough, and I couldn’t afford that if I could. Grow old gracefully and stop dyeing it, you say? What’s that? I’m afraid I put my fingers in my ears. I love sharp cuts, but mine would require trimming every few weeks, and the last time I got it really cut (about six years ago), it was $55.

So what’s the solution? For me it’s buying a root touch up dye for about $6.50, when I think of it, and using a hair crayon from a place like Sally’s Beauty Supplies when I forget. The latter is under $4, and can be applied to the roots quickly. When I first bought one, I thought it was a waste–it hardly showed up, and I felt like I was using a coloring book, pressing really hard. Somewhere in a conversation I found out what I was doing wrong–you wet the crayon before application. Easy as pie, and not too bad in a pinch.

But suppose you want to have a feel for luxury and get a cut or more? Still possible in the Cleveland area, though you might have to prepare to spend some time. My friend Miss J delighted in Brown Aveda Institute, 19336 Detroit Rd. in Rocky River (440.255.9494)–there’s another in Mentor, at 8816 Mentor Ave.  It’s a beauty school, and the supervised students work on women, men, and those between 6 and 18 with permission. The work-up may take a while, but hair services include a complimentary scalp treatment, mini-facial, hand & arm massage. A woman’s cut & style is $15, a shampoo and style is $13, and the full list of perm, relaxing, braiding, massage, color, waxing, etc. services can be viewed here.

Any thoughts on great places to purchase hair products? Cheaper products as good as any on the market? Please, let’s talk!